Today hasn't been to much different than other days.. today is the first day that i am locked truly locked.. My key holder and I had a discussion about this, I said things in my past posts that made it sound like it was just a coincidence that he had a key and i had a key.. and that in 2 weeks i could take the device off and whatever happens after happens.. This was not my intention at all.
I started into chastity because i think its hot and sexxy to be submissive to someone.. that they locked up a vital part of me that i dont have access too. I thnk its hot that he is choosing how long i am locked up and if and when i get out, just because he lets me out doesn't mean he is going to touch me.. and it sure as hell doesn't mean he is gonna let me touch myself.. the whole thought of it just makes me hard in my cage.. Todays been a little more difficult.. ive been hard most of the day.. with minor reprieves here and there. My friend tickled my back.. and i totally got the hardest boner ever.. it felt soooo good.. just being touched at all has felt good.. i was drumming my fingers against my dest at school today and i was paying attention to the feeling of the pads of each individual finger hit the desk.
its crazy how penis centric my life has been.. most of my "pleasure" has come into and out of my body from that one part.
Today has given me a lot to think about and i am not quite ready to display it on the blog.. i use this as a tool to help me think and to just let the cards lay where they will but for the emotions and thoughts ive had today i need to deal with a little more.. there still raw.
love and light,